The Transformation

I've been reflecting/worrying a lot about chopping off my hair. I have never been one to be attached to my hair but I guess since this was not my choice and more of a "Have to" it worried me more. The more time I had to think about it the more relaxed about it I got. 
    A few weeks ago a few of the middle schoolers I volunteer with spoke about their adventure at a church camp they went to. One said she was in desperate need of patience and she prayed about it a lot but got nothing. A counselor explained to her that sometimes when we pray for patience or self discipline it doesnt mean that we will one day go to sleep and wake up QUEEN PATIENCE or QUEEN OF SELF CONTROL but that God will give you opportunities to be patient. Now if you asking how this ties in to the Alopecia thing and cutting my hair off here is the connection. For years I have struggled with Depression and Anxiety and Low Self Esteem. For years I have prayed for God to take these things away. More recently I have really prayed that God give me the confidence that I need to really lead these middle school kids to Christ. I wanted to be the true hands and feet of Christ and the low self confidence was not helping. I do believe the Alopecia was Gods was of giving me an opertunity to boost my self confidence. I had to force my self to cut my hair and not hide behind my pony tail anymore. The ponytail no longer hides the bald spot. My hair dresser cut it in a way I would have some coverage even though I cam prepared to almost shave it. I know it will show sometimes and I am 5 foot tall so everyone sees the top of my head but this is my chance to rock this. This is y chance to gain that self confidence. I feel like truly letting it all hang out and be me. There is a big bald spot but the recent progression of my scarring alopecia  has been a ring around my head. I just joke that God just wanted to pre-fit my halo for when I get to heaven. I am choosing to joke about it and not let it get me down. I will choose not to sweat the small stuff. I choose not to make my disease and my worried bigger than my God because my God is way bigger than this and he did not design me to be worried but to have a sound mind. Here is my before and after

er.